I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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