I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just had sex on a roof
I need a beard to bite.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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