Four minutes until I can fart!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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