i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
