1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
