I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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