Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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