It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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