I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
