some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
