I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
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It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
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We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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