How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize