Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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