yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My balls are so social today.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
