I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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