Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
