If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
