I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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