Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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