so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
this is an emotional support booty call
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
