so explain again why im purple
no
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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