You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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