good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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