was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
