i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
