Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
