Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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