just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
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