i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
