Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
