You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
