Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
