Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
