It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
