She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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