I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
