They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
