thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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