i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
