I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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