Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
