dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
