he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
