so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
