I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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