call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
