We're facebook friends in real life
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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