I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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