he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
