I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
