This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
