Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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