If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
