thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
