I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
