Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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