hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize