I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
and you fell through a lawn chair
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
