so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
