I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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