I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
