Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
