haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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