sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
